Through my eye, through my heart
by OneBreaker
Summary: How it it that when you look at me in the eye, it seem that you can see through my heart..?"
1. Chapter 1

**_I do not own D. Gray-man. ((wish))_**

Chapter 1:

It was pouring heavily outside of the Back Order's headquarter. I was making my way to the cafeteria. Giving everyone my famous Bookman Jr. smiles. No doubt, those smiles are fake. Everyone was fooled by the bright smiles that I gave them. I don't even know if anyone in the world can see though my smiles. Well not the Bookman, my master. He's teaching me the way of being a bookman. Jiji is so mean, I give him a nick name of panda, he always hit me after that... He was also the man that told me to not open my heart to anyone and the one who taught me not to show my emotion by a fake smile.

As I proceed into the big room and smiled at the chef, Jerry, who is also fooled by my smiles. I tell him my order and man, does Jerry makes the best food ever! As I picked up my tray and on my way to a table i saw a particular man sitting by himself, eating soba. I grin happily and sat next to the man.

"Morning Yuu-chan!" I said happily, the man seem to hated when I do that. What can I do? Can't stop teasing this Asian man. Yuu-chan is an exorcist like I am... Well, he's a full time exorcist; I have bookman work to do as well. -__- Yuu's innocent is a samurai sword that is as sharp as his gaze on me right now. Those solf jet-blue hair that seem so organized every time, and that pale skin that makes everyone wanted to touch. His nose is so straight and his eyes. Those dark sapphire eyes that can see thought rain and blizzard. I hated those eyes; it always makes me feels that he can see though me so easily. Make me want to rip those eyes out of his face... those beautiful eyes that can kill.

Yuu was staring at me as I stare at him.

"What the fuck are you staring at me for? Go away." _Ouch, that hurt Yuu..._

"That hurt Yuu-chan. Right on the heart." I pointed my thumb right over where my heart beats. He stares at me then guess what come after.

"Che, like I give a damn." Then he stood up with his tray and start to walk away. Why does this man always so mean to me? I mean, am I that hatable?... Okay, scratch

that. Yuu is no different. He always so cold to everyone, he always pushes everyone away. As if he's afraid of being close to anyone. Well now he's gone. I sign, now I'm bored. I should be in the bookman's office and actually doing work... I hate recording history; I mean that's the job of a bookman, recording history. REALLY BORING, I don't even remember why I joined to be a bookman. This is so tiresome. I sat there, eating my food, no, I lost my appetite. _The rain is really pouring I really don't want to do anything..._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ _Loneliness ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Where are you...~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

_It was a dark and stormy night; I was on the ground, in front of a gravestone. Tears that fell from my green orbs which was mixed with the sky's tears. A man was standing next to me, yelling and crying at the same time. _Who is he yelling at....? And why am I crying..?_ I thought to myself. I knew this was a dream but this dream seem so real and at the same time, it also hurt. Dream shouldn't hurt... could it?_

_As the man was yelling and screaming at __me__, who was sitting there crying. Slowly and gently, I craw to the man's leg and grab onto the end of his dress pant. _

_"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." I whispered, not knowing that I was too weak to speak loudly. The man kicked me away. _

_"Get away from me you disgraceful child! You causes this! Why were you born into this world?! Nobody needs you!" Those words hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as this one.  
_

_"I wish you were dead..." The man suddenly picked up a tree branch nearby, holding it dangerously over me, I stare in fear. What is this man going to do to me?! Am I going to die, as the man said? The thunder was roaring loudly and one of it's lightning hit the tree close by. The man stab the stick down then, _

_"_AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I woke up, sweating and panting. The many drop of sweat roll down my face and form by another when they gather up. I just woke up from a nightmare. A nightmare that happened many years ago. Before I became a Bookman Jr. Now I remember how I became a bookman... When the man...no, it was my father who tried to kill me. Luckily, the bookman came before that tree branch even touches my right eye. That was when Jiji took me in as his pupil. I shake my head, how can I forget something like this... This is the reason why I even wear this eye patch. When I took this eye patch off... No, I don't want to mention it.

I got off my bed and went out of my room. I need some fresh air. Maybe the roof is good. As I walk up the step, I heard a sound of some music. I walk faster, not wanting the music to stop. _It's a flute...Who plays the flute in the Headquarter?_ I didn't even expect anyone to be up this late at night at all. As I climb up to the roof, I thought I saw an angel.

The pale skin reflected from the moonlight that make it shine so brightly in the dark surrounding, the dark hair gracefully blown from the wind, and those graceful finger that plays the note of the flute. At first I thought it was Lenalee, a female exorcist who has a brother with a sister-complex, but no, I just got this feeling that it's not Lenalee. The flute stopped and has been put down on the person's lap. We stayed motionless for a few seconds then the person started to speak, it came out very softly.

"What do you want... Baka usagi?" _...does an angel say that? _I asked myself. Now I notice, it was a man. A man I know as well, that face, that nose, and those eyes.

"Y-Yuu? Is that you?" I asked such a dumb question, of course it's Yuu! Who would have those piercing eyes?! But that came to a shock for me. Yuu's voice was never that soft. His face was never this gentle. And his eyes were never that warm. He look like a different person. He makes me want to hug him and for him to make my nightmare go away...

"Yuu..." I said in a whisper.

"What?" He said softly, I love the voice he have right now. I moved in closer.

"Can you play your flute again?" I said in a pleading voice. "Please..." I let lose my mask, letting him see my unhappiness, letting him see my weakness. Such vulnerable creature I am. How pitiful I must've look in Yuu's eyes. I look down, I hate this... I hate this side of me. It always end up controlling my heart, making it easier for people to come closer to my heart. And hurt me.

I felt something warm on my head. I look up quickly,Yuu's hand was on my head and seeing Yuu's soft eyes gazing down to mine. Those eyes that pierce though my heart that I was always afraid of now look so warm and loving. Slowly, he moved the flute up to his pale lips then played a song... a sad but warm tune was played for the sky, the stars, the moon, and for _me_. No one has ever done something like this for me. Not until today. My eyes start to tears up. Listening to Yuu's flute was calming and somehow, his music chase away my fear from the nightmare. I sat there and listen to his flute.

I don't want the melody to stop, I wish this moment lasted forever. And it will, in my heart. But the melody stop when it come to an end. Melody will come to an end, and so will time. _Tears._ A single tears fell from my left eye. And followed by another, and another. I was crying now, in front of Yuu. Now pathetic can I get? Slowly, an arm was wrapped around my back and bring my face to his shoulder. Patting my head slowly and gently with those cold hand. I looked up to see a blushing man looking away from me. I smiled, _Yuu is embarrassed because of this... that's nice of him to do this for me. _I wiped my tears and lean away.

"Thank you Yuu." I slowly sat next to him. We were now staring at the full moon.

"Why were you crying?" He said after a few minute. I shrugged. _I was moved by your music... and I was scared from the nightmare..._

"I don't know..." I look up at him to see his expression. _Shit! _He was staring at me straight at the eye.

"You're lying,. I can tell." He said, now his stern and manly voice came back. _Well damn. _I sigh. _I see that I can't hide anything from this man... _

"How can you even tell that I was even lying Yuu? What make you so sure?" I was trying to change the subject but it gotten even worse.

"When you lie, your eye always look so sad. You hated lying don't you Lavi? And you keep lying all the time, with that fake smiles of yours." I froze. How can this man, a cold-hearted man can tell so much just by looking atme in the eye? I tried to change the subject again.

"Well come on now Yuu. I only have one eye to start with." I fake my voice to cheer up and with a smile on my face, doubting that he'll buy it, he didn't.

"I'm leaving..." He started to get up. I panic, I don't want him to go.

"No wait!" That was what came out of my mouth. He stopped. _STUPID LAVI, WHY DID YOU STOPPED HIM?! _He stare at me. Waiting for something.

"...I'll tell you, but can you please stay?" I asked. He 'tsk' then sat now. I sigh, I really don't want to burden him about my past but it seem that it's the only thing that'll make him stay. And I don't want to hold onto this memories anymore. I looked up at the moon then start.

______________________________________________________________Flashback______________________________________________________________________

_"Hahah! Daddy, you can't catch me!" a young boy with flaming red hair was laughing and running away from his dad. It was a beautiful day and the most gorgeous time of the day for the family, the mother was sitting under a tree in the field, watching her life playing around. She chuckles as she rub her stomach. She is pregnant with a 6 months old baby inside her. _

_"Lavi, don't run too fast or you'll fall." Chuckle the mother. _

_Even for a pregnant woman, she look at her most gorgeous for her age. Like a lily flower at it most blooming. Moment later Lavi was hungry so the two male walk back to where their picnic is, where the mother is. As they eat and talk about the upcoming baby, everyone was excited. Mostly Lavi. He always wanted a little brother or sister. Gender doesn't matter to him, he just want the baby. When they were eating Lavi would always crawl up to his mother then place his ear on her stomach. Always say,"Grow up and be strong baby." How cute he was. _

_When one evening, Lavi and his mother was walking home. Walking and talking happily, from out of nowhere, big, giant, monster came out of nowhere. Screaming, Lavi's mother was trying to protect her son. Putting her body in front of him, protecting him with her life. Not caring that the monster will kill them both. She had hope that Lavi will live. And hope it came true. True it became. Lavi survive. His mother got shot from the monster trying to protect him... A person called exorcist came in time to save him, not his loving mother. Tears fell from Lavi's eyes. _

_"Mother... What are you doing, please stand up so we can go home..." His mother body is starting to grow these black star. Covering her from toe and going upward. Until it reaches her neck. She reach up to touch his face. Those spot were reaching to her arm. She said quietly._

_"Please...L-Live Lavi..." Tears were reaching to her eyes. Dripping down her face as her other arm over her 9 months baby. Came in a whisper she last said to his ear._

_"I love you...My dear son..." Then that was it, her body slowly crumble into sand that was blew into the wind. The man, who was called exorcist, kneel next to the boy... and patting his head, saying things that Lavi didn't even hear cause he was screaming and crying. _

_ ~ Few days later ~_

_A funeral was taken place, with Lavi's mother and soon to be sister name on the gravestone. Many peoples came to share their sorrow. Many pities Lavi and his father. That evening, Lavi was like a stone, staring at his mother and sister grave. He cried his heart out for them the last few days. Now he has nothing but an empty shell. Atleast he still has his only family member left. His father. Who was sobbing and clingging onto mother's gravestone. As time pass that day, people come and go. Many stare and gossip, many cried. Those thing doesn't matter to Lavi, nothing matters... He only want his mother and baby sister back. Nothing more... It hurts so much, he loved his mother so much. And it hurts so much to see her go... To see her die in front of him, as he do nother but let her protect him. He was a pathetic son. A coward.. _

_"This is all your fault..." Lavi's father mumbles. Did Lavi just think what his father just said...? Lavi quickly glance at his father, who was glaring at him. What is THIS? How is it his fault? _

_"You causes this, YOU make her protected you from those monster and got herself killed! You Moron of a Son! You are NOT my son! You killed your __**own **__MOTHER AND SISTER! Get away from me you demon!" Father was standing next to me as the rain pour down. Tears and rain water mixed on the boy's cheek as he sat there and stare at his father yelling at him. Cursing at him, calling him 'unwanted child' ...It was horrible, the next thing the boy did was that he apologize to his father, saying sorry as if it was his __**fault**__. Apologizing as if his life on it, the young boy didn't notice that his father had a tree branch in his hand, aiming over him. Feeling unwanted, Lavi closed his eyes and accepted his fate. Waittng, the Lavi peek to see his death. The sharp, covered in ash, diving down on his right eye. Lavi flinch, then fainted. _

_When Lavi woke up, he was in a plain room. One window next to his bed. Turning his gaze to the opposite eyes he saw an old man, sitting there, staring at him._

___________________________________________________End of Flashback___________________________________________________________________________

"Then that's how I met Jiji and became a bookman Jr." I sigh as I just told Yuu, a man I didn't know at all, one of my most secretive story. I turn to look at the Asian man. Yuu was looking straight at the moon, as if not listening. I grinned to myself.

"You know Yuu, thanks for being here even though you're not listening. I appreciate it... Thank you." As I said that, the Asian man turn his head to look at me.

"I was listening to you. I'm not deaf you know." The man frown then stood up, "Go to sleep, it's late now." Then he turn to walk away. I sat there, dumbfounded at his answer. The cold heart Yuu Kanda was actually listening to my problem. To **My **problem. Isn't that the first?

Nobody know that Kanda always have to end up listening to that sister-complex, Komui and his sister's problem most of the time. It seem that those two sibling always run to Kanda to talk to... It was because of Kanda's silence and calming characteristic that doesn't judge people's problem and what's wrong with them when it wasn't the time. ....well some of the time.

The next day, I was as tired as hell can gets. Black rings was under my eyes,... eye. I can't _open _my eye for goodness sake! How can Yuu do that? Yuu's face seem fine! Not even the look of tiredness express on his moody face. Yes, I can tell from Yuu's tired face and bad mood face, I'm just that awesome. I bet that Yuu slept the same time I did and woke up even earlier than I did...well Yuu is in his bad mood right now so I guess that it count? As I walk up to him, someone tap on my shoulders.

"Lavi, are you okay? You look tired..." Allen Walker said that with a worried expression. He's one of best friend. Everyone called him the 14th because they _believed _that he's one of the Noah, the bad peoples. Well, I do care for this little boy, he's cute, adorable, and a cheater in poker. He looks like an angel on the outside, but just watch when he play poker, a demon will crawl out and eat you alive. _That boy_ will strip you _clean._ _Clean! _For those who need me to repeat that word for them so that it will stick into their mind. A warning, if you see someone that look so innocent and adorable on the outside, don't, and I mean it, DON'T let your guard down, they are mostly a demon on the inside who would love to get close to you then kill you with their evil power and claws. They are not angels...

"Yeah, I'm fine Allen. Thank you for asking anyway." I give him a smile, he believed me. Well kinda cause he look at me suspiciously. Kids, always so honest with their feeling when they reach a certain age.

"Really, I'm fine. Hey, didn't Komui called you earlier?" I change the topic so it was switch to him. He shrugs.

"Yeah, it's another mission. Nothing new. I have to say bye to Lenalee, see you later Lavi." He wave and I wave back, seeing him and Lenalee going out, it was kinda cute. I mean, they both were meant for each other. (( No offense for those who like AllenxKanda AllenxLavi or AllenxLavixKanda fan. Just how this story goes.)) As they said goodbye to each other and sharing adorable moment. I walked away frowning. Don't know why but it makes me feel lonely when that happened. Yes, i admit that i am a womanizer and stuff but those were just pastime play. Nothing is real in my life, except those that relates to work and bookman stuff. Nothing is real...

* * *

**So how was it? Did you like it? **_I hope so... **Yes, for a first timer I really need to improve... -__-**_

_I won't ask for review but it would be nice if you give one. And if there's a mistake place do tell. :]_


	2. The Nightmare

**_I do not own d. gray-man_**

I've notice that my first chap suck as heck... -__- i'll try to make it better from now on,.....

**_

* * *

  
_**

_"Please...L-Live Lavi..." Tears were reaching to her eyes. Dripping down her face as her other arm over her 9 months baby. Came in a whisper she last said to his ear._

_"I love you...My dear son..."_

"Lavi!" An old and cranky voice came to my mind. I was daydreaming again, remembering the past. The day when Akuma attacked my mother and I. The day when I lost all hope of living.

The old man Bookman was standing in front of me with his small eyes and black panda's make-up, that's what I call it. There's so many mysterious thing about Jiji. I don't even know how old he is except the fact that he's old. Family? I don't think so. If he does have a family, they're probably forgotten by now because as a member of bookman, you left everything behind. Your friend, your family, your life, and your heart. You give your emotion away when you became a bookman successor. Giving everything away for this title.

The responsibility as a bookman is that you record history. As for being a bookman successor, I'm in training to be the so call "Bookman." Jiji taught me that when doing a job, never let your feeling gets to you. He also taught me that by being fake and not letting anyone close to me then I won't get hurt. I always understand what Jiji mean when he said that, not until now.

Everyone is out on mission but I have to stay to do some extra work... Ugh, so boring. All those thought went through my mind so fast that i don't think Jiji notice the hesitation. He was still staring at me with those black orb of his. He growl, yes, he actually growl.

"You're not paying attention to your work! You stupid apprentice, why did I even took you in..." He sigh then hit me on the head with a book. Then old man walk away to his corner of the room. Writing down some record I guess. He is just so boring sometime.

"I'm going for a walk." I said as I stood up and walk out the room. I can feel Jiji's stare. Scary old man. I stuff both my hand in my pocket. Walking toward the tallest place in this tower, the roof.

"Wait Lavi." Jiji stopped me, his voice was stern. I stare back at him, wondering what make him so serious.

"Remember what I always tell you. Don't get too attach to anyone or anything. It will be affect your bookman work when we're done with this record." He said then wave me off. I scoff quietly, _What a foolish question Jiji. There's no freakin' way am I going to get attach to anyone here. _Then Yuu's face pop uf in my mind.

_No one POV~_

When Lavi reaches the roof, he stare at the moon. It was a half moon this time. He smiles. Somehow the moon reminds him of Yuu. He misses the male. He sat down and stare at the moon again. _The moon resemble Yuu a lot. _The moon always looks so lonely in his eye. Even with the stars. The moon still looks lonely. The gentle wind blew against him. It was when he also notice that it was pretty cold at the moment. Lavi didn't care. He would love to get sick than go back into that room with that old man.

With a sigh, Lavi lay down on the flat surface with both hand behind his head as a pillow. He slowly closed his eye and driftly went to sleep.

* * *

"Aaaah!" Lavi woke up, sweat dripping down his face. _That nightmare again... _Recently, the same nightmare about his past kept him from sleeping. With a sigh, Lavi sat up. Taking the last glance at the moon before he depart to his room.

As he walk down the step, his mind suddenly wonders about a certain samurai male. Wondering what he's doing right now. _What's this? I'm thinking about someone for once..._ Lavi had never thought of anyone but himself. Never thought of one's well being or give any concern. It seem that this samurai has caught his attention. Lavi chuckle to himself. _I think I'm getting sick... Thinking of someone else beside me? _Thinking himself crazy, he ignore the thought and continue walking. As he walk, he passes Yuu's room. _Hmm? The light is on...I wonder if Yuu's back. _That makes him stop in his track. Standing there for a couple of minute then walk toward the wooden door.

___________________________________ Lavi's POV __________________________________________________________

_Knock Knock Knock_

No reply. I knock again.

_Knock Knock Knock_

Suddenly, the door slam open with a _Bang!_

"What do you want?!" Yuu said in whispered, seeing myself, he 'che' at me. How rude.

"Can I sleep with you tonight..?" I asked with a big grin, a slight of hope came to me.

"No, and stop that stupid grin of yours, it's not working." _Well damn._ He closed the door but my boot stop it from closing completly.

"Please Yuu... I can't sleep." I beg him then added. "I'll beg until you let me in." He seem to ignore that comment and stomp on my boot. I flinch and pull my feet back then the door slam on my face. _What an evil Yuu... Fine then, i'll stay here... _

I stood there patiently. Staring at the old wooden door. My gaze starts to go downward. Down to the floor. A single tear. _Why am I crying? It was just a nightmare... nothing scary. _What I didn't know is that deep into my heart I wasn't crying from the nightmare, I was crying because I felt like I'm being rejected by Yuu being abandon and alone again. I wipe my eyes and were about to turn and walk away. The door slam open again with a bomb this time.

"What the fuck are you doing standing in front of _my _door you Baka Usagi?! ." Yuu said, from his tone of voice, he seem very tired. I feel guilty for bothering him at this time. I stood there for a moment, thinking if I should just go in. Yuu being impatient, even though he meditate, 'che' at me then grab my wrist. Dragging me into his room. It was my first time I got to be in his room. Got to say, it was plain. A bed, table, head to toe mirror, laptop, bathroom. _Wait, I don't have a bathroom. _And his precious Hour glass. Yuu sigh then close the door behind me. Then he walk over to his bed and sat at the edge. Sighing, his hand came up to his pale face to massage his temple. This time, I noticed how tired Yuu look. His eyes in daze, shoulder slump, slightly dark ring under his eyes. Now I felt horrible to see the man in this shape.

"Yuu, you should go to sleep..." I said as he walk over slowly.

"That's what I was trying to do until you came over." Yuu growl then pick up his pillow. He went over and turn off the light while he lay on the floor. His hair was down so it look like the dept of a forest, atramentous and mysterious that spilled wildly in the middle of the floor. Then I notice, Yuu just gave me his bed to sleep in instead. As I stare at the bed, a slight shade of pink crept up my cheek. _So nice of him..._

"Hey Yuu, come up here with me. It's cold down there." I smile as he just ignored me as if I haven't said a thing. I shake my head at him and walk to him. One arm on his back and one under his knee.

"What the f-" I picked him up and place him genly on the bed. I grinned widely.

"It's cold down there Yuu and if you sleep down there, I'll be lonely on the bed." He was going to refuse but then I push him down, making him laying on the bed. I picked up the pillow that was on the floor then put it next to Yuu. As Yuu glare at me, I smile widely at him.

"You smile like and idiot." He commented as I make myself comfortable on the bed. He still glares at me.

"Yuu, you're glaring holes through me." I said as I stare at his face.

"Good." Then turn his head to face the ceiling. The moonlight that shine it's way to Yuu's window and reflect Yuu's fair skin, his hair was spread wildly on the pillow. It look as if he's floating on water instead of the bed. Yuu's skin was so pale that it look like snow and a petal of a lotus.

As we stayed there silently the room temperature dropped. i don't know if i should be happy or sad. Yuu was very close to me at the moment and i can feel his heat radiant against my skin. I can't close my eye to sleep at all. I turned my head to looked at him. his eyelids was closed and his breathing was even. I wondered if he's asleep or meditating.

"Hey, Yuu, are you awake?" I said in a low voice. i heard a 'che' and i smiled.

"Can't sleep eh?" My whole body turned to face him. To my surprised, He too turned to face me. His fair toned muscles that is very noticeable under his thing pajamas's clothes. I grinned slightly at him. sometime i wondered how this asian man can see through me. How he can control my feeling like no other. I bet if he order me to go jump off a building, i probably would. Right now, being close to this man makes me feel warm inside. This warmth that I'm feeling that run through my body like an electrical cord, making my stomach tight. i should be feeling embarrassed but i don't. This feeling that I've never felt before but at the same time, very close.

* * *

_I'm so **sorry! **I know i've took like... weeks to do this chappie or update. Idk if i updated this correctly! . _

_This is horrible! I can't do it, well, maybe i can and i don't wanna end a story without an ending. o _

_"gasp" i can't believed that Yuu let Lavi in his room~~"_

_Yuu: Shut the fuck up WOMAN! YES i said it! You're a WOMAN cause you type like a freakin' woman!_

_One: *gasp* WELL MR. I-AM-A-WOMAN-CUZ-I-HAVE-LONG-HAIR, YOU SHOULDN'T SAY THAT TO THE AUTHOR CAUSE I CAN CONTROL YOU IN THE STORY!_

_*evil laugh*_

_Yuu: 'che' *walk off with the laptop which has all the document in it*_

_One: WTF, when did you get that?!?!?!? *ran to Yuu to get back the laptop and succeeded with 'some' scratch*_

_Well, please review if you think this story is worthy of your time. If it's isn't, then don't review or complain to me. Those kind of review is not welcome here. Not that anyone has did that and i thank you. xD _

_I would also like it very much if you see any flaw in my writing, please do tell. I'm a writer in training. lol_

_Thank you.  
_


	3. First Step

**Yes i know I update a little to quickly but i had the WHOLE day to write! xD**

**I hope this is okay i mean i did finish it quite quickly...**

**I do not own D. Gray-man or it's character.**

* * *

Yuu Kanda's POV

I'm feeling very peaceful at the moment, untroubled by _Baka Usagi's_ presence as he laid in front of me. Being close to Lavi makes my cold heart, warm. My mind went blank, the single image that's my mind contain at the moment is of that Baka Usagi's face. This rabbit makes my heart melts. All of the barrier that I set up to protect my lonely heart is crumbling down whenever Baka Usagi came close as to hug me, I barely kept myself together. I can't even breath normally because of the closeness of the stupid rabbit. I should be proud of myself that i even kept my breathing even.

As Lavi smiled my heart skipped a beat. I can't help but smile back. The expression on Usagi's face is priceless. Those green orbs that stare at me as if I was the last person on Earth. That makes me tingle, if not, happy in some way. As if my heart has been save from the pit of the deepest sea. i shouldn't be doing this, letting this man get close to me, to my heart. This is dangerous. But what can i do? The man attract me physical and mentally. I didn't care what happen right now or what i'm suppose to do.

I turn away, trying to get Usagi out of my mind. To see how much my mind fail to listen to me, Usagi's face kept popping up in my mind whenever i close my eyes.

"Hey Yuu... I can't sleep." He said in a soft husky voice. My mind didn't hesitated to order my body to turn itself around to face Usagi.

"What the fuck do you want me to do about that?" I didn't make it sound harsh but i didn't want Usagi to know i that 'cared'.

"Comfort me, until i can fall asleep." To the expression on his face right now is saying, _I don't want to go back to sleep._ That's just really complicated. When Usagi said that in a serious tone which I can't figure out if he's joking or actually being serous. But either way, it's not happening.

"Che, go hug yourself baka." I said, turning my back to him and once again, closing my eyes. Hoping that meditate could work...I growl slighly when I see Usagi face again. It seem that Usagi's face is implanted in my brain so that i can always see him in my mind. My back felt cold due to the space between me and Usagi. Usagi is so quiet that i might think that's he's asleep. At that moment, a pair of warm arm wrap itself around me and pulled me back, against Usagi's chest. i slightly gasp. For the first time in my life. I didn't felt the need to be panic in an embrace of someone.

"Yuu, you feel so warm." What a stupid lie. I know my own body temperature and I bet my freezing skin is killing him right now.

"Baka..." My voice sounded harsher than i can let it be but i myself was glad that i wasn't facing Usagi at the moment. My face went hot with bright red blushes that can compare to those high school girl who just saw their gorgeous love walking pass them. _Wait! Did i said 'love'?! _That can't be right but i didn't struggle away from his embrace.

My whole body started to warm up. His gentle hand want up to my cheek and stayed there.

"You're finally warming up Yuu. You were freezing." He commented.

"Oh, so now you notice i was cold as hell." My face got redder if it were possible. He didn't answer for a moment then got up on one elbow, turned me down so i was flat under him. He lean over me and grinned.

"Oh Yuu, are you blushing for your sexy rabbit?" That was the most stupidest thing to say.

"Che, i really wonder who's the sexy one in here." I calm myself down and give him a smirk.

* * *

- No One POV -

Lavi was smiling stupidly while Kanda rolled his eyes. The smile stopped when Lavi's face turn emotionless and stared at Kana. Then he lean down and whispered hotly into Kanda's ear.

"Right now, you're the most gorgeous being I've seen in my life." Kanda can't help but look slightly away with a blush.

"Che, what about all those women you were all over on how gorgeous they are?" The red-head didn't answer the comment that was placed on him. Kanda turned his head back to look at Lavi and wish he hadn't. The expression on Lavi's face was devastating. There's no hint of amusement in them, no life in them. Kanda frowned. _Did that offend him that much?_ Kanda's hand reached up to Lavi's face. He look like he's thinking about something else.

"What the fuck Usagi? Are you okay?" Lavi snapped out of his daze and look at the man under him. Lavi's eye was wide and shocking. Kanda raise his brow in confused. _Now why does he look so shock? _Kanda wondered. Then Lavi went back to his smiles but this one has a slightest different. It wasn't the Bookman Jr. smile or those idiot one. This smile was genuine and warm. That smile just melt Kanda to the core. The Baka Usagi has a smile that can melt the thickest wall to Kanda heart. Kanda can't resist but to stare.

"You worried about me... Aren't you Yuu?" Lavi said still holding what now, Kanda's favorite smile. Kanda's slim finger reach up and touch Lavi's bottom lip. Remembering every detail of the genuine smile. Hoping that it won't be the last. Lavi grimace at Kanda's expression. One of Lavi's hand went down to cup the male's cheek then lean down.

"Thank you..." He murmur closing up small gaps between them. Lip to lip. At first, it felt like time has froze on them. Nothing moved, not even Kanda. Kanda chest tighten and he held his breath. Both lips were slightly dry until Lavi smile, lean back and look at Kanda.

"I need the other party to participate to continue." He chuckle. A slightest hint of Lavi blushing.

"As if-" Kanda didn't even get to finish as the other lip crash his again. It has a little force in it so it hurt slightly. But then Kanda close his eyes and kiss back. The kiss slowly melt into a heartfelt kiss. Both not denying it. Lavi fingers buried itself into Kanda's long hair. Pulling the Asian closer. Kanda's hand went up to Lavi's chest, he was running out of air. Lavi's other arm wrapped itself around Kanda's slim waist. Pulling the boy closer to him. Kanda gaps. Lavi took the opportunity and slid his tongue in the asian mouth. Kanda growl but did not protest. Biting Lavi's tongue, hard enough to bleed. Lavi was about to pull back but then, Kanda tongue stop him. Both of Kanda arm gracefully went and wrapped around Lavi's neck. Pulling the red-head down. Lavi didn't not stop but proceed exploring the others mouth.

After a long moment the both broke the kiss. It was passionate and a hot session that neither of them is going to forget. Lavi flip and lay next to Kanda, who was breathless. Lavi grinned. He pulled Kanda over and laid Kanda's head on his arm as he continue to embrace the other. Forgotten about his nightmare. He kissed the top of Kanda's head and chuckles as the other, slightly out of breath, growl. Then a thought hit is mind. He pulled Kanda up to look at him face-to-face again.

"Yuu... Will this be... Will tonight be like those _one-night-stand_ moment?" Lavi look at Kanda with concern eye. Afraid of what the answer might be. He really didn't want to ask the man that question but he have to, he _needed_ to know. For his own heart to not take this seriously. Kanda look at him slightly shocked. He doesn't know how to answer that question. Sure, he like... No, he love this Usagi and was extreamly happy when the male went to _him_ instead of any other better candidate. _What should I answer to him? Yes, I love this man but i shouldn't linger close to anyone... And it has to be Lavi of all people. A male and a Bookman... I'm such an idiot to fall for someone out of my leage. _The hesitation makes Lavi think that he and Kanda is a one-night-stand. Lavi sight then frown. He pulled Kanda closer, which makes the male gasp, and buried his face in Kanda's chest.

"I thought so... I'm sorry to asked a stupid question. I should have known, i'm sorry. But please, can you make this moment last longer? I don't wanna let go at the moment. I don't want to be... alone..." As Lavi said that, his heart was crumbling down into peices. A heart was once had a crack in it now crumble into pieces of dusk. Lavi felt as if time has reverse and replayed again. Playing the heartbroken boy who was holding onto his crumbling heart when his mother died. But it did not hurt as much as it is now. The thought of falling in love with someone and can't even touch them anymore. That's the worse. Tears starting to come out of Lavi's eyes as he thought of those thing. Being alone,... once again.

Kanda was highly confused. _What the the Usagi talking about? _One-night-stand? Does he look like one of those people? And what does Lavi meant when he said don't want to be alone? He know that bookman shouldn't get attach to anyone due to work but was Lavi this desperate? For Kanda, he got used of being he was never alone, he hated communicating with other and he doesn't people who burden him but that doesn't mean he's alone. He has Lenalee, Moyashi and.... Baka Usagi with him. They're comrade even if you wanted or not. They are what called our friend. This was the first time Kanda has just notice that he has accepted all those people as 'friend.'

A hand reach to Lavi's face and pulled it up. Wiping the wet tears away from the cheek. Kanda smile and lean in to peck Lavi in the lip. Lavi laid there confused of what's going on. Isn't his a one-night-stand. Kanda doesn't need to be nice to him.

"What the fuck are you talking about one-night-stand? Fuck i didn't think about that when i let you in this room." Kanda's finger reach up to pull a strain of hair out of Lavi's face.

"And what are you talking about being alone? You have Lenalee, Moyashi, others... and me. What else do you need? Even though you always give them that fake smile of yours but have you ever abandon them? Remember when stupid Moyashi almost get hit by the akuma? You went and save him. Same to Lenalee. You just don't notice it but you do held them close to your heart. From what i know, when you were close to them, your laugh sounded real. The sound has full of love for your _friends._ That laughter and that genuine smile of yours is what make me fuckin' love you so much...As of a genuies as you are, you are still so stupid sometime Lavi." Kanda smirk then turn away to get some sleep. Lavi laid there. He hope he didn't heard wrong but he asked anyway.

"Ne, Yuu, did you just called me by my name?" Lavi lean in, look at Kanda's back.

"Now, your mind is foolin' you _Baka Usagi_" Kanda answer. Denying the fact that he actually called Lavi by his name. Lavi smiled. Knowing that his mind didn't fooled him. He lay down as well, spooning the asian man.

"Thank you Yuu, I didn't know you pay so much attention to me..." _And how i act around my friend. _It was that moment that Lavi realise that his beloved Kanda had also confess to him as well.

"Hey Yuu, remember when were were talking about gorgeous lady and stuff?" Lavi asked, pulling Kanda slightly closer.

"Yeah, so what?" Kanda word were sharp when Lavi talked about woman. Lavi heard the difference in Kanda's voice and chuckles.

"Yeah, when i was in the daze, i was thinking about my mother. She was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen." There was a pause untill Lavi turned Kanda over so they were facing each other.

"Until i met you." Those few words came in whispered and Kanda 'tsk' it away and blushed.

"Go to sleep, it's late now." Kanda mumble as he turned away then soon was trapped against Lavi's chest and arm. Kanda 'che' then lean against the body.

That night, Lavi didn't dream.

* * *

**Yeah, that's it for this chappie. I think the next one is going to take quiet some time due to school and Thanks Giving. oh, HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!**

**Yeah, when Lavi just said sexy rabbit it totally ruin the mood. Sorry, it does. xD**

**You can review if you think this story is worth it and if you did, you'll make my life ten time more entertaining than it is now. lol**

_Yuu: You said that as if your life fucking suck. *Lavi grinned as he stood next to Kanda*_

_One: O.O Oh, I see how it is, now you guys want to team up one me since you guys make-out in the story eh?_

_Lavi: Awww, i never said that, now have i._

_One: You're thinking about it._

_Lavi: *quiet, Kanda 'tsk'*_

_One: Thought so._


End file.
